Looks like Max!
when you are absolutely sure that you wish haven’t ever met him. :)
One thing that marks me: I’m scared of hurting people.
And for some people, it makes me the antagonist of the story.
NOW YOU GUYS JUST STAY AWAY I DON’T WANT ANY MORE DAMAGE. :(
When your lost, lost, lost in love, you never wanna find your way out.
But sometimes I don’t know if it’s where I’m standing and feeling lost. And I don’t know but some days, I want the way out, wherever I am.
You know that feeling when you feel like falling, but you know you just can’t because you’re too scared? And what’s worse is that you’re scared because he makes you feel that way. This is where you’re too afraid to take risks because you know fully well, either way you’re gonna lose, but this is also where there’s this tinge of courage that says it might be worth it.
I remember how good it felt to be in love. Hook, line, and sinker. Then everything just happened. And today I feel the hook, line, and sinker feeling, a different one— the hanging one. It doesn’t really feel nice. It feels dangerous. And it makes me even more scared. I don’t want another scar.
Believing in us can feel so dangerous.
To the guy who thinks I’m wonderful, and that I’m worth every single time and effort in the world, no words can express how much I appreciate all of it. And at the same time, no words can describe the guilt I feel right now.
Because the truth is, I don’t think I am.
I may have chosen the worst timing, and it made me feel bad, believe me. But I thought to myself, this has got to stop today… yes, Valentine’s day. Or else the pain will be worse. I just can’t keep the guilt to myself anymore.
I’m sorry. I really am. It’s just that… I’m not the girl. I’m not the girl who’s worth all your effort and time, your songs, your poems, your thoughts. You see, I’m a mess. I’m complicated, I’m weird, I’m… just not the girl for you. You deserve someone who will able to reciprocate the feelings you’re showing me. I’m sorry if I didn’t tell you earlier. I’m sorry if I was scared. You see, I’m also a coward. I hate hurting people, I hate this feeling. I wanted to comfort you, and I’m stupid to think that I can. And I know it’s gonna take some time before we can act as friends again. I’m sorry, but you see, I’m nuts.
Someday you’re gonna meet someone who would feel the same way you feel/felt for me, or maybe even more. Someday you’re gonna be at your happiest. That feeling of excitement upon seeing her, making you stutter, making you wanna write songs using your friend’s piece of paper, and poems while it’s freezing outside— it will come again, when time is finally on your side. Someday some girl’s gonna come, and you’ll tell me, I made the right decision.
Since this blog is very much public, I can’t spill too much.
All inside me in a sentence: Despite all the blur, you, sir, make the big picture have a little (itsy bitsy) focus.
Why can’t one thing, just one thing, be completely clear to me? I think this is frustration at its best.
PS: Careful in guessing who sir is.